“Middle-class parents tell their children to reach out to the teacher and ask questions. Working-class parents see asking for help as disrespectful to teachers, so they teach their children to work out problems themselves.”

My kindergarten teacher was a mean old lady named Ms. Cross (sometimes life is a short story), and one day she called home to say I was causing serious behavioral problems in class. She wouldn’t say what it was, just that my parents needed to come in immediately. Apparently the issue was I had been raising my hand too often to answer questions. “It’s making the other children feel bad,” she said. “We need to work out a solution to stop him.”

To this day, my mother swears, it’s the closest she ever came to punching a woman.

A lot of the trouble I got in came from wanting to know things. Then I dropped out of high school so I could go learn.

"The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain."

— Ursula K. Le Guin, “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas”  (via hallekiefer)


I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy

because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless

and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.


— Robin Williams (via skateeofmind)

It’s scary how much I related to this

(via ladypoprocks)


(via ladypoprocks)


5 Tips To Fuck Good

This is really funny. This is the Midnite Vultures of comedy articles.


5 Tips To Fuck Good

This is really funny. This is the Midnite Vultures of comedy articles.

(via theonion)


Talking Heads - Making Flippy Floppy LIVE (Stop Making Sense)

This song is a ripoff of “Hella Good” by No Doubt.

(Source: youtube.com, via shut-up-erin)

"I’m also a killer. I’ve killed a lot, and if I need to I’ll kill a whole bunch more. If you don’t want to get killed, don’t show up in front of me."

Actual quote from Ferguson “law enforcement” officer and 35-year police veteran, Dan Page. But hey, let’s keep focusing on all those unreasonable “looters and rioters” (via staininyourbrain)

(via chrisgriswold)

These bands/artists can suck my dick


These bands/artists suck and can suck my fucking dick, get rid of them. 

  • Aerosmith
  • Crosby, Stills, & Nash
  • The Grateful Dead
  • The Dave Matthews Band
  • Ted Nugent
  • Phish
  • The Offspring
  • Bon Jovi



"We’re working on it."

Weekly, at minimum.

This is one of my favorite sketches of all time, but whenever I excitedly show it to someone who’s never seen it, they don’t like it very much. They are wrong!


A Funky Facebook Rap dedicated to Hal Phillips

Please watch this.